Advice on relationship labels, how to make new friends, and becoming an influencer.
FROM: How soon is too soon?
I’ve been dating this guy for about 2 months now. I know we’re only seeing each other but we haven’t put a title on it yet (bf/gf). I’ve met his roommates and one of his friends super casually just through us spending a lot of time together, but really want him to meet my friends as a next step to *define things* lol. Is it too soon? Should I tell him I want him to meet my friends or make it more casual and just bring him to something with my friends without making it a big deal?
ES:
I'm the type of person who tries to keep things on the more casual side, but that's because I'm also the type of person who tends to get trapped in situationships lasting nearly a year and also I literally don't value myself at all. You should value yourself and I don't want you to feel trapped in a situationship for any amount of time. Taking the next step and "defining things" doesn't have to be a big deal if you don't want it to be. It's just something that you have to do because you're going to need to have that conversation eventually.
Go ahead and bring him along to meet your friends, then have the conversation after if that makes you feel more comfortable than having it beforehand. But ultimately, I don't think two months is too soon to define things at all. People have literally gotten married after knowing each other for shorter lengths of time.
FROM: Feeling old & lonely
Hi Emma! I recently turned 27 and among a lot of crises’ noticed how small my friend group circle is. A lot of people have moved away which is expected, but because I’ve relied on the close friends I’ve had since I was in my early 20s, I realized I never really prioritized making new friends….which has led me here. I know people tend to talk about how much harder it is to make friends as you get older, but I didn’t realize it was this hard. Any advice for making new friends?
ES:
I could tell you to start a new group activity, like taking a cooking class or joining a softball team, but that's the easy answer, not the easy solution. In my experience, it can be hard to get yourself to start one of those without a friend doing it with you. Personally, I've perfected the art of forcing people to be my friend. Don't be afraid to hit up that girl you followed on Instagram while you were in line for the bathroom at a bar last night. You'd be surprised how many people are actually down to hang out, even when they're not 5 espresso martinis in and drunkenly complimenting your mini Telfar. Once I came to realize that a lot of other people are looking for friendship and also aren't sure how to form new ones, I started just telling people outright that I wanted to be friends.
Sample DMs I've sent: "Wait we should def hang out" "Can we actually hang out pls" "omg I'll be there too! let's meet up?"
This may sound too direct and potentially psychotic, but every single person whom I've sent these to has said yes. And I'm still friends with most of them! (I say "most" because one of them ended up threatening to kill my roommate's dog so unfortunately I did have to cut them off but other than that, we've got a pretty high success rate here ❤️).
FROM: Current Status: Online, but at what cost
Ok so after months of scrolling on tik tok and seeing all these people basically become mini influencers and make $$$ just being online, I’ve decided I want to start leaning into my ~personal brand~ which I just want to preface sounds so ridiculous to even type out. There are definitely videos I can start out with but why do I feel SO awkward posting online? A lot of friends and acquaintances follow me on my TikTok tok and it feels so weird to know they’re watching me fumble and genuinely try to do this. Should I make a new account and hope they don’t see it?
ES:
Don't make a new account. It IS ridiculous, and that's okay. The reality is, there are probably some people in your life right now who think what you already post online is awkward and fumbling. And with influencing becoming more and more common, you can't expect your friends to not be used to seeing other people try it out too. You're not the only one, and the algorithm will always lead people back to you (trust me on this one), so if you make a new account they're going to find you anyway, which would be the true PR disaster.
Alternatively: send a mass email informing all of your friends and family that you will be cringe on the internet from here on out. You will have to apologize profusely of course, but this is your chosen path. You must follow your heart. They may not be accepting of your new career at first (But what about all that money spent on your English degree!) but if they really love you they will learn to accept you.
Find more of Emma below:
Instagram: @itsemmaschmidt
—
Need some advice? Send your qualms to tyvm.online@gmail.com and we’ll give it our best shot.
